Scare me.

 She's got cancer.

That's what I was told. The blood drains from my face and I am forced into a new reality. A place I never wanted to go again. Welcome back. 💢What the hell do I do now? I guess there is nothing I can do. Be supportive, I suppose. I feel bad, not just for her but for her family... her husband who already picks up more than his share of the household duties... her kids who are barely hanging on to sanity as it is... her sister and her best friend who will be thrust into countless teary conversations some, against her will.

It's the part of life that you never want to see. Sadness. Being face to face with your own mortality and perhaps a very painful end. It could be you or me at any time, without warning, without reprieve. No second chance. No do-over. Just you and a diagnosis.

About 3 hours later I found out it isn't cancer. They say it's a carcinoma that is not cancerous... though it does increase her chances of getting cancer down the road. So I guess that's good news now in exchange for bad news later.

In other news, I've been watching my annual income go from $1000/mo to $10,000/month in just 10 years. I'm at a place I never thought possible. Never. When I was making HALF what I'm at now, I remember thinking to myself, "This is it, man. You fuckin made it!" And that was a far cry from where I'm at. I've also figured out that money doesn't make you happy, but it gives you the opportunity to try things until you find out what DOES make you happy. Like spending $40k on a new car. Or $5k on spoiling your new grandbaby. It just changes your perspective. Next on the list, skydiving, whoring around Thailand, and one of them fancy Rolls Royce deals. Yeah!

Are you threatening ME?

Here's the story about how I quit the highest paying job I have ever had, and later found out that I was being underpaid by $30,000/yr based on the national average.... it all started, on April 25 2022:

Email From: Jared  (Boss) 

Got reminded (finger wagged) this morning that we are not putting in estimates and low time worked numbers in Azure…..Please make sure you get your estimates as well as time spent values in throughout the week. As usual, Amy is available to help if you need it.

After this email, I updated Azure.

Email From: Jared

A reminder on this. Almost everyone on this list has either not closed out and updated hours and/or provided estimates for the tasks in ADO. I know this is not a fun part of the job, but it’s not going to go away and now Paul is getting frustrated with the lack of participation. It’s not going away, and we’re going to have to get used to this being a part of each task going forward.  I would recommend that if you don’t know why you are short or if you need help with what exactly you are responsible for, just let me or Amy know. Now is the time to get it right because the next step is not pretty.

Next week, we will meet with Amy individually and do a little report card session to evaluate what has happened to date.  But it would be better to go into that meeting with nothing to report……

Email From: Me

I am completely lost here. I have updated every card I have on the sprint board with hours worked and remaining hours. I’m assuming you must be talking about things that I’ve done that don’t have a task or card associated? Am I supposed to make a card for each thing I do? I’m not sure what else I can do at this point, but you and Paul are really on my ass about this and I don’t know how to help here. And now I’m being threatened with a meeting with Amy and “the next step isn’t pretty” but I DON”T KNOW WHAT TO DO. Please help.

Email From: Jared 

For weeks (actually months), Amy reached out to everyone to explain what they were responsible for. She has offered help at every turn, and as much as we all don’t look forward to the paperwork part of the job, this is what’s happening. It is each individuals responsibility to raise this issue as the calls for getting it right became louder.

The threat of punitive action DID NOT come out of nowhere. If you need help with understanding what the missing info is, Amy may have some time to help, but she is busy just like all of us. I suggest you reach out to her and find out where the gaps are. I’ve CC’d her on this for transparency.

After this email, I reached out to Amy and, guess what, I updated Azure AGAIN. Turns out I was supposed to be DENYING requests to fix things or change things without a task first... Why not just TELL ME THAT? Why threaten me? I've been an exemplary employee for almost 10 years with Jared as my boss or my supervisor's boss. There has NEVER been a need for threats, just ask me to do it. Guess what, I WILL! WTF MAN! Anyway, fast forward 10 days then this chat happens with my boss happens:

[8:51 AM] ME
I think we may need to rearrange Quest (a project that was coming due before I would have time to finish it). I have next week off and the design isn't final yet. Even if I were to start right now I don't think that's enough time to finish it by tomorrow. Would you like me to start on it and get as far as I can, or what?

[9:25 AM] Jared
Yea, going to have to start.... You're out all Convention week?

[9:26 AM] ME
yeah, I am out thru the 16th. I will start now and see how far I can get done.

[9:27 AM] Jared
Man, we're going to have to have a come to Jesus meeting. This seems to happen a lot

[9:28 AM] ME
We had talked about this time off in January, before we knew convention was going to be in person this year. Wife has a surgery scheduled, I would have changed it if I could have.

[9:29 AM] Jared
Yea, it just seems to happen all the time

[9:29 AM] Jared
then combined with the not coming in, etc. One might thing you're not invested

[9:30 AM] Jared
The situation is starting to look unappealing

[9:32 AM] Jared
Essentially, if we can't rely on people to be around when we need them, how does that benefit us>

[9:32 AM] Jared
Then I have people working from home acting like they have a bad deal

[9:32 AM] ME
How can you say that? I've invested 10 years with this company

[9:32 AM] Jared
thats some bullshit right there

[9:32 AM] ME
I've never shown anything but fully invested.

[9:32 AM] Jared
Cmon

[9:33 AM] Jared
This is part of the reason Travis didnt want to manage anymore
(I found out later from Travis that this was an exaggeration, he stated he)

[9:33 AM] ME
You act like I sprung this on you.. You approved this time off MONTHS ago.

[9:33 AM] Jared
he was tired of having to deal with crap that you left him. every Friday / Holiday, etc

[9:34 AM] Jared
And I am not a Front End manager, I don't need the extra work

[9:34 AM] ME
That is absolute news to me. I have never heard a single complaint about my work ethic or scheduling. Nor have I ever been written up about any issues.

[9:34 AM] Jared
I have Lance blowing shit up live right before Convention, and you not seeming interested in being here. I just dont need it

[9:35 AM] Jared
I don't see any volunteers when the shit gets thick...thats for sure

[9:36 AM] Jared
No one gets written up.....but there have been times......

[9:37 AM] Jared
Also, you've never heard about it because Travis just didnt want to rock the boat....but I am not Travis. I will flip the bitch over if I have to

[9:38 AM] Jared
People working from home have no idea how good they have it.....and they just want more and more, not being thankful for the situation they already have. I have no sympathy for you

[9:46 AM] Jared
Also you are also not answering/responding in a fashion to my liking. Do I need to cancel work from home to drive the message?

[9:47 AM] ME
I am working on quest right now and will get as much done as I can

[9:49 AM] Jared
I still don't think you understand where we are

[9:50 AM] Jared
I also don't understand why it takes so long to have a back and forth here. Is a call better to make this clearer?

[10:16 AM] Jared
Given the difficulty in reaching you, perhaps its better if you start working in office full time

After this chat, I spoke with my HR partner and basically said, "I have next week off, but I need to turn in my two weeks notice due to this hostile/toxic work environment." She asked me to hold off for a while, because she wanted to talk to some people involved. Later she said, "Jared and Paul really want to work this out". I just kept thinking... You can't "work out" disrespect, threats, and blatant disregard of another person. Especially after I've given 10 years of my life to this company, including countless weekends, late work nights that sometimes stretched to 3 or 4 in the morning. And for the last 5 years I should have been making similar wages to the national average, which I found out when I was job hunting that they were underpaying me $30,000/year. There's no amount of "work it out" that can fix that. He clearly woke up and chose violence. In the end they accepted my resignation, effective immediately, and paid out my remaining PTO of 121 hours.

Riddance.

I have known for several months that it was coming time to sell the RV. Did that make it easier to do? No. Did I want to? No. Was it the right decision? Perhaps. It's tough though, thinking back on all the fun times, the mishaps, the trials... it's hard. Letting go is hard. I know it's time, but that doesn't make it any easier at all. Somehow in my head, I think it should make it easier, but it doesn't. I am looking forward to day-camping; to being off-grid in a new and different way. I just wish it were easier to say goodbye.

Goodbye RV. You were loved. Thank you for all the fun times and curse you for all the stress you gave me. Dick. 

Still trying to figure out if we will sell the ATV or fix it, but either way it's sure to be stressful decision as well. That's the problem with owning things... you own things. Things that you have to take care of. Things that take up a portion of your mental capacity. The more things you own, the more things you have to think about. And while each thing is a tiny, perhaps insignificant, amount of stress many of those things together compile into a very heavy burden. A burden that you might not even realize is weighing on you. But then when a tiny part of that burden is gone if feels really good. And now, I fear that my addictive personality will just go about purging everything from my life. I say that as if I don't have any control over it. I do. It's just that I want that feeling to grow. I want to lessen my burdens until my mind is free of the stupid shit that I've been hoarding for so many years.

101

Life is really about perspective. If you're the type who is content with things, you win. That's all there is to it. The discontent are tortured, by themselves, forever. Yearning for the next high, the next destination, the next big thing. It's all too much.

My grandmother, on my father's side, is 101 years old. She is not doing well and will likely not survive the week. What started as a fall, bump on the head, and a bit of physical therapy has evolved into a hematoma, no eating, hospice, and family coming from far and wide to say goodbye. It's tough. Looming death is tough. There's no way around that but what's worse is my internal struggle that I don't feel a certain way about it.

I remember grandma cooking in the kitchen. I must have been 7 or so. She was preparing dinner, probably christmas or thanksgiving, or perhaps one of the few occasions that my father was helping out around the farm and the family stayed long enough to be hungry. She must have been in the kitchen for 3 or 4 hours by the time dinner finally came around. I remember the smells in the house. I remember the odd wallpaper and the shag carpet. I remember the old cookie tin where she kept the playing cards. I remember keeping busy but mostly avoiding being in the way. I didn't know any card games, nor did my 3 younger siblings, but we played with those cards like we did. Making up rules and getting mad at each other for cheating. But mostly, I remember her bustling around all day, preparing that meal that was over in a flash. Then I remember mom helping her with the cleaning while the men lounged and joked.

It's a memory that I never knew I would look back at fondly but here I am. Completely discontent with what I have and torturing myself over not having more. Over not BEING more. Over not being enough.

I don't recall a single time where I sat at a table with my grandparents and talked about their hopes and dreams, why they chose farming, what hobbies they enjoyed, or how they felt when, a decade after they were done having kids, she has to say the words "I'm pregnant" again. I never remember telling them about my hopes and dreams, career path, or hobbies I enjoy. Now, that's not to say that I haven't seen them a lot, or talked with them from time to time... but it is saying that I never really got to know them. And now, late stage memory loss, and sleeping most of the day away, its seems like the wrong time to prod my grandmother with questions about if she likes to knit or wanted more children.

It feels like I should be feeling a certain way right now. Like I should be sad. But truthfully, I'm not. I have coworkers that I don't really like but I know more about them than I do my own grandmother. My last living grandparent. I feel more shameful than sad. Shame for allowing all of these years to pass and not getting to know her. Shame for not really wanting to.

I do feel sad. Not for me, but for my father. Who is losing his mother after 78 years. He's never known this life without her and now, an old man himself, he will have to endure another staggering loss. It's heartbreaking. I want to hug him. I want to tell him it will get better. I want to help him thru this most difficult of times. I want to ease his heartache.

I cannot. I know. But I want to.

There are a handful of people that know me well. A couple really close friends and a few of my family. Most people just enjoy me because I make them laugh or I help them with computer problems. These are the kind of people I can't stand to be around. I'm not here to help you fix your printer or to get rid of the thousands of popups on your computer. I'm here because I've taken a genuine interest in your life and I want to share my life with you.

Why do I feel like I am missing out then? Why do I feel like I SHOULD have spent more time being interested in my grandparents? Why am I not sad to lose my oldest living relative? 

I don't know... perhaps I never will. For now, I will console those I love who feel this loss deeper than I do. I will try to make them smile and, if only for the briefest moment, give them a reprieve of the sorrow and sadness that shrowds their view. And I will try to be one of the content few, knowing that I have people to love and a few that love me back.

I woke up crying.

I had a dream this morning and I'm going to do my best to tell the story of why I woke up crying. In the dream I am wandering thru an open air market, perhaps a farmers market or something where people sell homemade crafts and jewelry. I gaze from one side to the other as I walk thru the long corridor of shops, making my way to a specific table where I picked up a ceramic art piece. The second I touched it I felt connected to it, as if this was the thing that I'd been waiting for... as if this one flat piece of art was the culmination of my entire life.

I held it in my hands tightly, so as not to drop it. My eyes flitting from one side to the other as I took in all the aspects of it. Across the top was my family name, in very ornate characters that somehow meant more symbolically than the word itself. In the center was a small image. A drawing of some sort that wasn't my family, but represented us. Generations of immigrants and farmers, shop owners and home-makers. Somehow that drawing encapsulated all the important aspects of our heritage. Surrounding the center were beautiful trees and mountains. A scene that just lit my heart and somehow made me feel more grounded than I had ever been. A scene that escapes words, something so precise that it felt like my ancestral home. I just knew it was special and magical, I could feel a thousand heartbeats in a single second. Pounding. Surrounding me. Everything else faded away and for several long minutes, it was just me, and the all-encompassing rhythm of  those heartbeats. The community and solitude, passion and fear, struggles and triumphs.

I stood still, embracing the feeling and clinging to this ceramic art as if it was more than that, because in that moment it meant everything. Hundreds of lives that all culminated in me being on this planet. Thousands of struggles that made it possible for me to live this life. Millions of memories and pivotal moments in time that gave way to my parents and eventually to me. I let that all soak in, embracing every heartbeat, feeling every sadness and elating with every dream. I rode that rollercoaster for as long as it needed me to and at the end I knew that I had to put this back. I had to leave this for someone else to experience it. I had to set it on the table, and I did just that. I put it down, looked at it for several more seconds then turned and walked away. Fighting back tears as I put one foot in front of the other. Second-guessing my decision with every step. It was too important to leave, and yet, at the same time, it was not mine. There was someone else who needed that experience. Someone else needed that connection, and I would leave it for them.

I walked to the edge of the shopping area, not noticing a single other thing as I did. My eyes welled with tears but I was not giving into them. I sat. Alone. Alone with my thoughts on a cold uncomfortable bench. I sat. Feeling overwhelmed and simultaneously at peace. It was then that I noticed my mother approach, holding that ceramic art. Knowing what it meant to me. She had witnessed moment that I held it, watched me leave it, and she knew that she had to purchase it for me. She approached with the art held out to me. I took it from her and held it close to me and sobbed. And when I awoke there were tears in my eyes and the familiar soreness in my throat, and a gratitude in my heart for it all.

My interview.

INTERVIEW SOMEONE YOU LOVE ABOUT LIFE
Questions from Brendon B.

1. What comes to mind when you think about growing up in your hometown?
The canal behind the neighbors house, the hours we would spend boogie boarding, swimming, and talking. Walking thru the forest to the lake and spending time on the buttes.

2. What did you love to do as a kid, before high school?
I used to ride my bike a lot. I would pretend I was driving a school bus and do my route, picking up kids along the way. I remember plowing the driveway on my knees the year I got my Tonka bulldozer for Christmas.

3. What did you love to do in high school?
I learned to code in high school and loved computers. I would spend as much time as I could learning to build them, fix them, upgrade them, and use them. I worked at a local Mexican restaurant, and would put in as many hours as I could so I would have money to treat my friends to lunch, and go 'on the cruise'.

4. What do remember most about your teenage years?
on my 16th birthday, I remember sitting in my room, just down the hall with a couple friends of mine was my crush. I remember thinking how bad it sucked that I was 16 and never been kissed by a girl. I was so down on myself about it. It hurt. The rejection. The solitude. But when my crush offered a kiss in exchange for a tiny chirping baby chicken that I had, I could not do it. I have never been the type to take advantage like that. It didn't feel right. I gave her the chic because it seemed like it meant a lot to her, and more than anything, I wanted her to be happy. I have been looking for that chirping chic ever since, and have never ever seen one like it. But if I do, I will pay any price to have it again.

5. What do you remember most about your mom (grandma)?
My mother was a very flawed woman. Perhaps we all are, but she was always my protector. Even when it was the most painful thing she would ever do, she always did it. There would be days on end of tears and pain, but if it was the best thing for me, she made sure it was done.

6. What was most important to her?
Her children. We always came first. We always came last. And sometimes even at the cost of her own dreams.

7. What do you remember most about your dad (grandpa)?
My father was very stern. He never took any shit from me. I always knew where he stood, and he always stood for what was right. He taught me the most important lesson of my life, stand behind your wife, no matter what the cost, no matter what the burden. Treat her like your queen and love her unconditionally. (even 15 years after they were divorced, he still loves her as much as ever).

8. What was most important to him?
Having a smile on his face, and being there for anyone who needed him. He was always happiest when he was making others happy.

9. If grandma and grandpa had a message to you and their grandchildren, what do you think it is?
Be humble. Be thankful. Be true to yourself, and love others.

10. How did you meet [spouse] and know (s)he was the one?
She was my trainer when I started a new job. We teased each other relentlessly, but I knew she was the one when she faked my second write-up. I don't get written-up. It's just not who I am. I work hard to do the best job I can and I work even harder to be better at it than those I work with. But I knew, the second I found out it was her behind it all, I knew that we would be very close, forever.

11. How did you choose your career and what was your favorite part about it?
I have always loved computers, so it was natural for me to have a career behind a desk. I love working on them, I love making things with them, I love tinkering with the internet and building apps and websites. I will never stop learning about computers and programming languages. They help me solve problems, and deep down, I am a problem solver.

12. What made you successful at work?
Being better at everything I do than I was yesterday.

13. What did you believe about yourself that helped you become successful and deal with hard times?
The best thing you can do to deal with things is to allow yourself to feel it. Allow yourself to be sad, or angry, or hurt. Then, when you've had enough, move on and allow yourself to grow from the experience.

14. What times in your life truly “tested your mettle,” and what did you learn about yourself by dealing (or not dealing) with them?
I fought with my ex-wife, the mother of my three children, for over a year in courtrooms and outside of them, for the right to see my children. It cost me dearly. A debt that I paid for more than 10 years after it was all final. I would do it all again if it meant I would get to see my children grow up. That taught me that despite what people are, or who they seem to be, they are never showing you all that they are capable of.

15. What three events most shaped your life?
Having kids. Graduating college. Purchasing my first camp trailer.

16. What do you remember about when each of us was born?
The first, I remember crying when he was born. I was so proud to be a father! I couldn't wait to teach him how to make sushi, and how to tie a shoe, and how to forgive when he's been hurt. To that point, he was my greatest joy and I had never been more happy or hopeful for the future.
The second, I remember my parents drove 400 miles to be at the hospital when he was born. I remember allowing his older brother to hold him and how proud he was to finally be a big brother. He worried more about him than I did! I remember rocking him to sleep in the hospital chair. A chair that was painful to sit in after 5 minutes, but to see my son asleep in my arms was worth every discomfort. Knowing he would wake if I stood up, or re-positioned... I couldn't let that happen.
The third, I found out she was born 3 days after. I remember the first time I held her. I remember being so pissed that I wasn't there to see her come into the world. But her beautiful smile and the way she laughed made me glow. I knew then, that I would do anything it took to make her laugh for the rest of her life.

17. Were you ever scared to be a parent?
The most scared I ever felt was sitting in the rocking chair at 4 am. My oldest in my arms crying and screaming. I had tried everything I could think of. Diaper change, feeding, bathing, rocking, burping... It had been hours and hours ago that he started crying and I just sat there, rocking him, crying along with him, not knowing what to do, feeling like I had failed him, feeling like such an idiot for not being able to comfort him. I was so scared that he was broken. Scared that he would have some permanent problem because I couldn't fix him. Scared that it was my fault that he was crying and that I could never fix it.

18. What three words would you say represented your approach to parenting and why?
Firm. Forgiving. Funny.
I want nothing more than for my children to be happy. For me, being happy is being prosperous, providing for my family, and laughing often. But I want them to be happy, for whatever that means to them.

19. When you think about [sibling] how would you describe him?
Seriously? 10 siblings... forget about it.

20. What message do you have for [sibling] that you want him to always keep in mind?

[Do the last two questions above for each sibling in your family]

21. When you think about [spouse], how would you describe her/him?
Bec is patient and kind. The type of person you can sit in silence without it being awkward. We all have things to work on, but at least hers are minor. She's such a good person that it makes me strive to be better. She has made me so much more patient and I strive to be more like her everyday. I love her so much, it's impossible to convey.

22. What message do you have for [spouse] that you want her/him to always keep in mind?
I am imperfect, but with your help I have become the best version of me and with you by my side I continue, every day, to get better. I love you too!

23. What three words would you say best describe who you tried to be in life and how you want to be remembered?
Funny, forgiving, helpful.

24. When they think about their careers, what do you want your children to focus on?
Be the best version of yourself. Strive to make today the best day you've had and forgive yourself for yesterday.

25. What have you learned about other people in life? (trustworthy, kind or not and mean)?
Do not rely on others for your happiness. They will always disappoint you. Rely on yourself, and when you feel like you've let yourself down, change your attitude and be grateful for all the wonderful things in your life.

26. What do you think the world needs more of right now?
Gratitude. Forgiveness (not to be mistaken with forgetfulness). And most importantly, the world needs you to be the best you.

27. What do you believe people want the most in life?
Happiness. If you're not striving for happiness, you might be too focused on the destination.

28. What were the three best decisions you’ve ever made?
a) Divorcing my first wife. I should have listened to my friends and family, and been more open to the truth of our relationship.
b) Getting my degree. Live is so much more fulfilling when you make a little more money.
c) Traveling. in person and vicariously. Because it teaches you WHAT to be grateful for.

29. What are you most proud of in life?
The knowledge that I have, my ability to learn, and my ability to implement what I've learned.

30. What were five of the most positive moments of your life?
a) Getting my degrees.
b) Becoming an adult, and I don't mean the age.
c) Teaching my children that it's okay to mourn, hurt, rejoice, celebrate... to feel
d) The thrill of driving your first brand new car off the lot. I've never been so grateful for anything in my life.
e) Having my parents, who both show an interest in my life, still be around.

31. What message would you like to share with your family?
There is no better joy or pleasure in life than when you are grateful, content, and loved. Please remember that.

32. What are you most thankful for?
I am most thankful for the fact that I've never been without. All that I've ever needed has been provided for. I've never been without food, shelter, love, or transportation.

Identify what broke

A lot of people ask me what my biggest fear is, or what scares me the most. I know they expect an answer like: heights, closed spaces, or people dressed like animals; but how do I tell them that when I was 17 years old, I took a class called Relationships for Life and I learned that most people fall out of love for the same reasons they fell in it. That their lover's once endearing stubbornness has now become refusal to compromise and their one-track mind is now immaturity and their bad habits, though once adored, are now just money down the drain. Their spontaneity becomes reckless and irresponsible and their feet on the dash is no longer sexy, just another distraction in your busy life. Nothing saddens and scares me like the thought that I can become ugly to someone who once thought all the stars were in my eyes.

I was extremely bitter and sad when I wrote this and I left out the most beautiful part of the class. After my teacher introduced us to this theory, she asked us, "Is love a feeling or is it a choice?" We were all a bunch of teenagers. Naturally we said it was a feeling. She said that if we clung to that belief, we'd never have a lasting relationship of any sort.

She made us interview a dozen adults who were or had been married. We asked them about their marriages and why it lasted, or why it failed. At the end, I asked every person, "Is love an emotion or a choice?" Everybody said that it was a choice. It was a conscious commitment. It was something you choose to make work. Every day, with a person who has chosen the same thing. They all said that at one point in their marriage the "feeling of love" had vanished or faded and they weren't happy. They said, feelings are always changing and you cannot build something that will last forever on a shaky foundation.

The married ones said that when things were bad, they chose to open the communication, chose to identify what broke and how to fix it, and chose to recreate something worth falling in love with. The divorced ones said they chose to walk away.

Ever since that class, since that project, I have never looked at relationships the same way. I now understood why arranged marriages were successful. I had discovered the differences in feelings and commitments. I have never gone for the person who makes my heart race or my head spin. I've chosen the people who were committed to choosing me, dedicated to finding something to adore even during the ugliest days.

I no longer fear the day someone who swore I was their universe, can no longer see the stars in my eyes, as long as they still choose to look until they find them again.

... As long as they still CHOOSE to look, until they find them again.

*Completely hijacked. Not my work, just a powerful message that needs passed on.

January 12, 2018 at 03:13PM

Listen to what just came outta my mouth! "Love isn't a feeling. It isn't something you fall into. Love is actions. It's being there when shit goes south. Love is putting up with them when you wanna slap em with a chair to the face. Love is being committed to working it out and not giving up. Love is work. 100% work." I know... I am kinda in shock about it too. I swear... sometimes I amaze myself. #EnjoyTheJourney #BeingInLoveIsHardWork

January 01, 2018 at 07:26AM

Rest in Peace, 2017. I remember it like it was yesterday.

December 25, 2017 at 05:16AM

May your Christmas be filled with family and friends... or someone you love. Take a moment to remember the meaning behind the toys and lies. And don't forget to #EnjoyTheJourney