Lets catch up...

Hope you have time for a post drug up from the depths of father time's cavern of great procrastination because this is one of those posts.
Lets get started, shall we? :)
We're going back many, many years ago to a time when life was simpler, hair was bigger, and cars were louder. Back to a time when frogs were cool, moms were mean, and your father beat you when you were bad. A time when time-outs were.... Time-outs? yeah right! Back to a time when car seats were made to sit on, not get into, seatbelts were optional, not required by law. You know the time I speak of, now it's time for the setting... Picture, if you will, 1985. I was in second grade being taught by a teacher that I can't remember in a classroom that I wouldn't recognize but I can tell you that the timeframe was a good one, I have no bad memories from that time period. The next year, however; many bad memories. The one memory that sticks out the most... My third grade teacher was a real ass. I was in a fairly rough group of kids and it was a good idea at the time to spit on our teachers car. Bad news came when the teacher looked out the window and only saw ME spit on his car. He made me stay after school to wash his car off. This was after it has set in the sun all freakin day and crusted on there. It was so nasty, but I will say that I have never spit on a car since then (at least not intentionally). Enough about third grade tho, lets move on.
Fourth grade. My teacher was Mrs Owen, she kicked ass. My fav part of that year was that she had a lid to an old popcorn popper. All of our names went into the lid and then she would pass it around and we'd pick out a name of who would read next. I do not rightly know why this was so intriguing to me, but it was. I loved reading time, which is very strange because, for the most part, I don't read for pleasure. Didn't have much else that happened that year that I remember so we'll move on to fifth grade. What a year. No not really, this was the year I got into D&D and actually read a book cover to cover, a very good feat for a child who doesn't read. To date that is only the third book I have ever finished. The second book was Life 101 by Peter McWilliams (an awesome book) and the third was Crazy Time by Abigail Trafford (a very good book as well). It takes a serious movement for me to read a book and actually finish it. I get bored easily.
Fifth grade... a boring year, I learned to play tether ball and swing a bat. Big whoop. That was also the year I went to school with a huge bump on my head from my father's knuckle. It hurt, bad. I swore I wasn't coming back home after that... as it were, I was on the bus after school and ended up back at home. Fate hated me. For the longest time I was certain that I would have that damn bump forever. It seemed to be there for months! It sucked.
Sixth Grade. That was an interesting year. I got into band, playing the clarinet and saxophone. I didn't like band much, except for the recitals that we did, and that was just because I could show off a little. It wasn't until the next year that I liked band then hated it again when I got into highschool. Sixth grade was very interesting tho because that was about the time that I decided that life was gonna suck forever, period.
Seventh grade was pretty much the same stupid crap, school was okay, my circle of friends had completely changed from the prior year and I knew almost no one. There were of course the 2 or 3 close friends that I had that seemed to stick with me but most of my friends were long gone. I sometimes wondered what happened but then I just gave up. That was the first of many things that I gave up on but we'll save that for another post.
Eighth Grade. A mutany of gargantuan proportions. Life was very twisted that year. Things happened, people died, those who should have died, didn't. I became posessed to write poems and contemplate what happens after death (I still have not come to a conclusion about that). To this point in my life I had lost a brother and a sister, a grandmother and a grandfather, and several pets. My life seemed to revolve around death. I became fascinated by it and often contemplated what it would be like. Dying I'm still sure would hurt, but being dead I'm sure is not that painful. Most of my poetry from that time period revolved around death or pain or some such crap. Not zesty! Lets continue, shall we? YES
Freshman Yeah... Yeah, not even talking about that.
Sophomore year... What a time that was. I don't remember exactly when it was the my voice was changing but I do remember that it was this year sometime and I was in a barbershop quartet. There were four of us (hence the 'quartet') and all of us were out the same age. It was at this time that I developed my love of music. It didn't seem to matter what type of music it was, I loved it all. I was raised listening to country. I started listening to Metallica, Megadeath and the like. Later I got into Alternative music and power metal. I even got my hands on a bootleg copy of Sawetell, that was awesome! I wanted to go to concerts so bad but could never justify spending that kinda money on a ticket for a show that was way too loud and too long for standing. Well, that and the drive to get somewhere they had it at, which btw was only THREE HUNDRED FREAKIN MILES!! But eh, what is a guy to do. Also while I was a sophomore I also learned powerful techniques with the ladies, such as, wooing them into my bed with the cunning use of oral gas, and bribing them to do things for me with my dashing charm. It was a treachery. Oh to look back at the stupid shit that I used to do. Some of which I still do, blast it all, it seems to work the same too... I can't figure that out. LOL
Junior Year. what a waste of my time. I could bench press more than my weigh in lead and eat about as much. Life was good, I had a job that paid well (well for my age and skill levels) and enjoyed spending the money I was 'raking' in! Most of it went to pointless dates and dead end 'opportunities' to make money. I am such a moron sometimes. This was the year that I totalled my mothers car, sorry mom. That was an experience that I learned a great deal from... In fact most of my junior year I learned alot from. I learned that you can never trust a woman, no matter what kind of nail polish she has on or what kind of perfume she wears. Behold the antiquities of youth.
Senior Year. Need I say more. I missed more of my last semester than I attended. It was bad, too much work and not enough school. I was sure enjoying that money tho, *snickers*. The VP of my school thought it a good idea to call my mother and question her about the days I had missed, because I had too many absences to graduate. She told him that it was okay and to let me graduate and she would punish me afterwards. My own mother allowed me to graduate even tho I technically should not have. THANKS MOM! I would have hated doing senior year again. My life was finally turning around, or so I thought. This was also the first time in my life that I got a happy meal from McDonalds. My gf at the time took me to get one on my eighteenth birthday. wasn't that sweet? *gag* So yeah... I cried. I'm such a ninny like that. Graduation came and went and there I was working my jap ass off to make some money. I was po and knew it! I was living with two of my best friends in a basement apartment that was infested with nastyness and mexicans. That was the only time in my life that I have ever had something of value stolen from me and it happened to be my ENTIRE collection of CD's and my cd player. It was stolen from my car and the total came to over $400. It was not good, I was so pissed. I had worked hard to get the money for that collection. The one memory that sticks out the most from that apartment was the day that Rite-Aide had a sale on Mtn Dew, Grass and I got enough to completely fill the back of his S10 blazer. Once we got it all inside it was stacked next to the fridge from floor to ceiling, two rows deep and stacked the entire width and depth of the top of the fridge to the ceiling as well, and it was a short fridge! That lasted us almost 3 months. Between the two of us, we went thru almost a 24 pack per day. That was an enormous amount of Mtn Dew. I miss that stack. :)
OMFG! Breif intermission while I brag for just a moment... I totally just talked to THE Computer GOD! The very one! HOLY SHIT! I almost creamed myself! I will say that his voice sounds different than when he's on TV. But he totally said, "Thanks *my name here*" I asked him about his blog. DUDE IS AWESOME! I am so high right now! WOOT!
So, anyway, where was I. Ah yes, so after my excuzion from high school I decided that it would be a good idea to become a CNA (certified nurse aide). I truly enjoyed that experience and like many other experiences it was an awesome learning tool for me. I learned the value of family and relatives as well as the value of a hard days work. CNA work is grunt work so I got out of that and started into CMA (certified medication assistant, or something similar). That was so much easier and it took me from working in nursing homes to assisted living centers. That was nice because it got me out of the adult diaper changing industry and short term care. I was about to switch to home health because I thought that might be even better but then I got an offer to do EEG (electroencephlagram) monitoring. Pay was better and the job was the easiest thing I've ever done but the hours sucked. I was doing 7pm to 7am 12 hr shifts, four on four off. That was okay for a while then one night when my boss decided to pay me a little visit, I happened to have Metallica playing and I was jumping around the room like an ass. She fired me the next day, bitch. I then went to work for a call center that I, unfortunately still work for. I have had jobs also in the duration of time since I first started here, two with HP, DirecTV, Convergys and DRS, Inc. It has been a huge learning experience and I was on TV twice. So not too bad i spose. Enough about work stuff and school stuff for now... that pretty much brings you current.

I've had an APOSTROPHE!

You know when you are sitting idly on some Tuesday night, and you have a thought that hits you like base-ball bat to a 7-11 clerk at one am while he's being robbed. I had one of those thoughts, it was more a movement really, a life shuttering emotional thingy. Unbelievable! My apostrophe has been a long time-a-comin. I have often wondered what my life would be like as an old man. I used to be afraid of getting old, becoming too old to do the things I enjoy doing now. I have now realized that there are many things that you can do when you get old that you cannot do now. IE sit around for days at a time, while you watch your grandkids play, then send them home with your child. Life seems to be much more experienced as one ripens. By this I mean that as you get older, things that you have never noticed before start to become events that are worth stopping your day for. Anyway, back to my apostrophe, I hunger to ripen to a good old age, accompanied by the one I love. With her by my side, I fear nothing. My hate turns to dislike, and my emotions are much more stable and yet, at the same time, they are heightened beyond my wildest dreams. Congnitive analysis tells me that I am in love. I feel like I'm in love, and for the first time in my life, I trust in it completely. I trust her completely. I am not concerned with the monotony of normality. It is beginning to intrigue me, much the same way a small kitten looks at a dog for the first time. Somewhat confused, but very excited. And, the way I see it, I have already grown a strong liking for the way things are progressing, and eventually I can see the kitten and the dog being the best of friends.

THANK YOU!

I have heard that things happen for a reason... I have contemplated this so many times that I have begun to develop my own versions of fate and faith. At this point I firmly believe that when you are at rock bottom, fate, faith or fact will step in and guide you to the resolution that you need. Not necessarily the resolution you want, but the one you need.
If I could talk to God right now, I would thank him for allowing me to be with the most wonderful person in the entire world. The person that compliments my being and sparks light where there has only been darkness. I would thank him for showing me that there is more to this life than hateful, vengeful people, and thank him for leading me to one such person. I would thank him for allowing me to love her and for allowing me to feel her love for me. I would thank him for my senses because I can see the love in her eyes and feel the love from her heart. I would thank him for my sense of touch that allows me to feel her closeness and hold her when she needs. I would thank him for my mind that allows me to process the love we share. I would thank him for the opportunity to be with someone that I can help that also helps me. I would thank him for her beautiful children and for mine, and for the way they seem to get along so well together. I would thank him for allowing my love to expand to include her children as well as her, and for the continuing expansion of that love. I would thank him for putting us thru what he has because in the end I know that we will be better, stronger, happier people than we could have been without his help. I would thank Him. I would thank her. Tron, you are my life, I love you! (insert kissy face here)

Spanish Kisses...

And you thought I was sick?

Well, I am... sick that is. I am sick. I don't get sick that often, in fact, I don't remember ever going to a doctor because I was sick. I went once for stitches and once for a tetanus shot when I stepped on a huge spike, but never for an illness. I want to maintain that track record. I hate doctors with a passion felt only by the pope toward the debo. It seems tho, as I get older, the worse my memory becomes. I used to be able to remember stuff that happened last week... now, unless it's a significant alteration to the norm, I can't remember crap. It just aint happnin. Prolly never will again.
The gf has a clip she is dying for me to hear/see, she claims this to be one of the funniest things she's ever seen. I can't wait! Mostly I just wanna see her reaction when she watches it again, but I'm sure it will be entertaining. I love her more than broccoli! She found it at 'ill will press' there is a link on my page for that website. I have heard that it is really an awesome site, but I never found anything of comical value there. So I quit looking at it. I almost even took the link off my page, but so many people think its funny that I just left it there. Eh... It's just a link.
We talked briefly about moving to boise and me going to school before she does. That would be really strange. It's hard for me to imagine that someone would put me before themselves. Or even consider it. I have been dreaming about going back to school for some time now and never really had the opportunity to. Moving to Boise now would be freakin awesome! I love Boise and have friends there. I miss them terribly! I hate this little decrepit town. I didn't wanna move back here to begin with. GET ME OUTTA HERE!
today's blog is full of random thoughts... for my next thought, we gonna discuss popcorn. Have you ever noticed how the smell of popcorn seems to give you a craving for it? I don't like popcorn usually. I tolerate it during movies but for the most part, I would rather have something else, anything else. Except water. I hate water worse than popcorn. That's bad. Oh! But I love corn. Corn kicks ass! You can eat it with anything too. And beef, cuz it's what's for dinner! I think I just like food, period. Yup, that's affirmative. The Jizr likes food.
Anyway, enough with the rambling today... I think I'm done.

Get lost in the music.

Another day is almost come and gone. I am a year older, as of yesterday. Funny thing is that I hate saying that I'm 27. It's sounds so much closer to 30 than 26 did. So from now on I'm 26 plus one. How ya like them apples?! Trample off eh! I don't wanna get any older. My b-day was fairly uneventful, kinda nice, it wasn't hectic and crazy. It was very nice having someone to share my day with tho. It just so happened that she is now sitting clear across the building from me at work, so I don't see her very often. That really sucks. Her first day across the building was yesterday, and my b-day. Grr! But I'm glad she doesn't work somewhere else. It is so nice to have her here when I wanna smoke and snuggle a bit... Problem is that when we're outside, I don't wanna go back to work. That could get me into trouble. GR!
I have had a sore throat recently, a friend from work gave me some homemade cure-all tea that taste like ass rolled in a tortilla and dipped in shit. It was nasty! I hate tea anyway but now I really hate tea! I need more profin for my headache.
There is much to be said for the celebration of mediocrity. We will find any excuse to have a beer, eat some cake, party with friends, or just do absolutely nothing. It seems to be the course of humanity. More convienience and less work. More daycare's and less single income families. When your needs exceed your income, it's time to reanalyze what is really important to you. Are you being fair to yourself to expect more than what you are bringing in? Can you really anticipate your own needs and take care of number one? Do you know what you want? Do you know what you need? DO YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE? Time to find out.

God Bless America!

So we went to lunch yesterday, the first time we have eaten away from home in quite some time, and to my surprise the restaurant we chose had 3 cocks on the wall. They were just hangin there, all kinds of out in the open n shit. Talk about ruin lunch. LOL I hate staring at chickens while I'm tryin to eat red meat.
We have been staying at her parents house the last few nights to look after the place and take care of the dogs n such. Her father is a tinkerer. I freakin love that. I love to stare around at the awesomeness that surrounds the place. That man is freakin awesome! He can weld like a pro and has a creative streak a mile wide! I think him and I will get along just fine. :)
I seem to be slowly losing some weight. 18 pounds so far. Really the only thing that changed was, well, moving in w my gf and I don't spend near the amount of time on the computer as I used to. I would like to spend a little more time on the computer but I would rather spend that time with her and the children. The other thing that changed was this: I used to eat until I was full, now I eat till I'm not hungry. Sometimes, I will say, I can't stop eating but most of the time I do pretty ok, I guess.
I'm sure you read in her blog the whole singing thing, right? So now that song is her son's fav song to listen to while we drive. Don't get me wrong, I freakin love that song, but ok... Enough is enough. 3 times in a 20 min drive is going a little overboard. For now it's quite alright, but this has got to slow down or I'm gonna lose my MIND! LOL.
For those of you that are weak of mind or fraile of heart and don't like the mushy stuff, ya best stop readin now. Yesterday she was wearin this low cut button up shirt, GRRR... It seriously took the restraint of a thousand monks not to jump her. It was so tempting me. Then she looks at me with that 'come and get me' smile, I damn near threw her on her desk and... Well, I need not elaborate. You get the point. She is turning me into a crazed maniac. I got a severe case of tickleishness the other night, it was so bad that even the blankets were making me giggle. I have never been tickleish, EVER... And now all a sudden, BAM! And I'm a fkn maniacle laughing machine! It's very strange.
We were talking today at lunch about various things, I came to a conclusion tho... It seems, no matter what she is doing, I wanna just grab her and make her hold me. I never want to let her go. You know when you see the photo's in the portrait studio and the family pictures always look like the perfect family... That is the best way I can describe how I see us. It seems so perfect and things seem to fit so well. I am in awe. How can it seem that fate hates me for so long then, in what seems like a loophole in the system, I'm handed this beautiful woman to share my life with. I whored myself out to lady luck and she came thru for me. This only happens in the USA. God bless america!

Ode To My Pillar

How can it be that love is such a motivating force? Is it really that important to the substantiation of human existance? I am beginning to believe that love will conquer all. When I feel weak, she is my iron rod. When I need time, she is my clock. When I need, she is there. I've lost my heart to a woman that is truly worthy of it's safe keeping. The reasons for my love are obvious; however, the reason for her love of me are seemingly hidden. Not saying that I'm a yellow sloth cow but the amount of love she has for me is inconceivable for my feeble mind. I know not what drives the passion, but I am grateful for it! I have never known what it is like to be lost in love, until now. To even look into her eyes lights my soul and broadens my view. Every morning when I wake up, I yearn to see her, hold her, be with her. She seems to be my pillar of strength.