It's all just a fucking illusion!

Just a fucking illusion

Do you know? Do you see what is real or just a lie?
Why is it that everyone is trying to get high?
We smoke, we drink, we kill ourselves slowly over time.
No money, broke again I spent my last ten on a dime.

Now on stage for a play I was thumbing thru my part
And I lost my script and I forgot my lines so this comes from the heart.
Everyone wants to tell you how to live your life
Well forget them and trust yourself and do what you think is right.

Cuz they’ll cast a spell so you can’t see what life is really about.
And they’ll sell their shit and you’ll buy it all without the slightest doubt.
You see the pressure comes when you’re very young to know what you want to be.
High school is when it starts, why can’t you see?

So you go to college, you’re not ready yet, your major is partying and getting laid,
You graduate. You get a job and within a week or two you get paid,
But with the credit cards and your student loans your debt encumbers you
And you meet someone, before you know it the two of you say “I do”

So you buy a house a brand new car, a couple of kids are due
Your babies are born, you work so much, they never really get to know you.
And then you and your wife drift apart from so much time away
You wonder when it all went wrong what happened on that day

Now alone and miserable you see your kids maybe once a week
Empty dreams, never seen guilty feelings are what you reap
She gets the house, you get the bills and half your pay goes to her
Always broke you realize you were wrong and you thought you were so sure.

So you look in the mirror and you shake your head at that man on the other side
You try to run, find a way to get off this crazy ride
Wondering what would have happened if instead you had pursued your dreams
Lost within your soul you are now coming apart at the seams.

Don’t you know, can’t you see that thru all of your confusion
The life they sold to you my friend, is just a fucking illusion!

FINALLY! De Verdad!!! (The Truth!!!)

12 Fuck You's for MySpace and the Internet!

Fuck You number ONE

OK PEOPLE STOP POSTING GOODNIGHTS ON MYSPACE. ITS NOT LIKE MYSPACE IS UR FUCKING HUSBAND OR WIFE TO SAY GOOD NIGHT DUMB ASS.


Fuck You number TWO


There is NO SUCH THING as a MySpace Tracker. It does NOT exist. So quit posting stupid bulletins like "OH-MY-GOD this WORKS!!!" No, it doesn't. Stupid Fuck.


Fuck You number THREE


To the people who have like 25,000 friends; Are you fucking serious? You're stupid. Go play in traffic.


Fuck you number FOUR

Don't ever post pictures and say: "OMG, I'm so ugly" because if you were, you wouldn't post them. If you do you're a retarded fuck.


Fuck you number FIVE

NOBODY cares about threats over the internet, so don't try to act hardcore with the keyboard. Fighting online is like racing in the Special Olympics; Even if you win, you're still fuckin retarded.


Fuck you number SIX

Quit crying because you're not on someones 'Top 8'. Who cares?!? ITS MYSPACE!!! If you really cared that much, you would pick up the damn phone!


Fuck you number SEVEN

Who really cares if I don't accept you as a friend? MOVE ON!!! Don't send me another request or message asking "What's up with you not adding me?" I don't want you as a friend, that's what's up, Asshole....


Fuck you number EIGHT

6th,7th and 8th graders who have MySpace and look like sluts, and act like whores; Go somewhere else because nobody wants you here.
And Parents -
Quit blaming MySpace for your kid being a hooker, she was a whore before MySpace, and she'd be a whore without it!
What does that say about your parenting skills?
Think about it!


Fuck you number NINE

If you have decided to read this, you are a true MySpace Friend. Real friends read their bulletins, except for the ones about those fucking ringtones....


Fuck you number TEN

Fuck number ten!


Fuck you number ELEVEN

If you open a bulletin and it says something like repost this in 100 seconds or a ghost will rape you tonight, or some dead bitch is going to rape your mom - quit being Retarded! Fuck You, it ain't happening!


Fuck you number TWELVE.

Myspace was created to keep up with friends. Quit trying to check up on your ex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Come on, now you fuck, its called stalking...you might as well be sitting in front of their house with binoculars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Things you never forget.

My fist clenches tighter and my hand bleeds more. Some things happen and no one knows the reason. And sometimes they don't have a reason. I release my fist. The shard of glass once gripped in my hand now drops to the floor. Blood continues to drip from my hand and wounded leg. I attempt to scream but a weak gasp for air is all that's heard. The tears burn my cheeks as they stream down. I can see no one. It's probably better that way. Maybe no one saw what happened. I turn and begin to walk away. My heart is still pounding feverishly and I can't seem to walk straight. It's getting darker as the sun begins to set. I've been walking for several minutes. I attempt another scream. It works this time but is cut short because the cold air burns my lungs. I can still smell the burnt flesh and my ears still echo the screams. At times like this I can only wish that I was deaf. No one can ever lose the images I have seen: the burnt bodies, screaming children, tortured women. I will never forget. I need to stop the bleeding. I can feel my heart begin to slow. I'll use my scarf. I'll wrap it tightly around my hand and use the rest for my leg. The blood seems to be the only warmth I feel right now. There is a hospital not far, if I could just make it there I know I would be safe.

Ouchies!

So for 8 hours yesterday I climbed stairs, carried boxes, lifted heavy shit, rearranged shelves... and on and on... today I am sore like a whore after her shift. I ache all over the place!

I must also tell you what happened the other day. My daughter called, the youngest whose 4, and she tells me that she got hurt all over. She's crying and obviously has been for a while so I play nice and ask her what happened. She proceeds to tell me, "I got hurt on my hand... (dramatic pause and more tears)... and on my finger... (another dramatic pause and more waterworks)... and all over!" When I asked my ex what happened she said she got a paper cut on her finger and since they didn't have any bandaids she was freaking out. I laughed hysterically. I love my baby girl so much! What a fun child!

I'd cover my fridge with vasoline!!

la niña araña

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GRRR!

There are few things that will irritate me like slow traffic. Case and point: It took me 45 minutes to drive 3 fkn miles down Chinden this morning! I finally gave up and came home. It would have taken me another 2 hours to get to school at that rate and I would have missed my first class anyway! BLAH! I hate the retarded drivers around here!

Who's the man?!?!

I think I've finally done it... finally done did it right. I have discovered the one gift that she will use at least once a week for the next several years. And it wasn't even that expensive. So I got her that and something for her desk and something to eat and something to stare at. That's it, all four items. And since I know she will read this sooner than Valentines day, I will not reveal what it is that I have gotten for her. I make you this one promise... if she doesn't like it, I will strangle the next person who asks me, "So, what are you getting your wife for..." You won't even get to finish the sentence because... *DEATH* Death sentence... That will be your fate. And you will be left wishing for the power of Christ.

Looking Back.

I just spent the better part of an hour looking at old videos of my first born, Jordan. It's really amazing how much he has changed, grown, and still makes me giggle. Watching those videos has a very unique way of giving you a glance into the past. Its wierd to think how far I've come since those days of immaturity and yet, I'm still very similar to the way I was 10 years ago. I still drink way too much mtn dew, I still love my children with all my heart and I will forever remember making Jordan cry by taking away his binky. I wish I had a camera still... oh the things I would put on video now. :) The kids are growing so fast and there are so many more memories that I would like to capture... and someday look back on. Even amidst all the chaos and speed of life, it's little moments like these that make you smile on a bad day.