It's killing me.

How many times can you repeat the same behavior before you realize that it’s killing you? Like a food allergy there are always consequences. You may not swell or have your throat close off… well then again, that could be a very real possibility. This one thing is hurting you more than you even see, and yet you continue to go blindly forward as if to say, “I am the Titanic! I am unsinkable!” You cannot possibly believe that. You are digging a grave and before you know it you’ll be putting nails in your own coffin. I wish I could slap you and make you realize that you are not invincible. You have to take care of your body or it will give up. I’m not ready to lose you. Your children are not ready to lose you. What happens when the children you’ve cared for and nurtured suddenly have to take care of you? You can’t be okay with that… but that’s exactly where you’re heading. Pretty soon you will be diagnosed… then it’s only a matter of time. That is, if you don’t already have a life threatening illness that you don’t even know about. Wake up, damn it! Smell the red satin that lines your coffin and dig yourself out of the pit you’re in before it’s too late. I fear it may already be too late. But I love you and that’s why it hurts. That’s why it’s so frustrating. That’s why it’s killing me. Because you choose to ignore the signs. You choose to ignore the warnings. You choose to ignore my pleas. And that makes me feel sad. Not only for you, but for your children that you will leave behind, for your family that loves you. Do you not see that you are killing yourself and all the while twisting the knife that you’ll eventually leave in those who love you?