MORE????

Today I have been pondering what it would be like without you around. That scares me, just the fact that I'm thinking about it. I thought you would do anything for me? I thought you want this and need this to work out. You sure don't act like it most days. I don't know why. It seems that the slightest thing I do can cause you to go into a rant and get all butt hurt. Why does it have to be like that? WHY? I just want to be able to let go sometimes, just be myself and not have to worry about what I'm gonna say that will piss you off. This is fucking retarded that I have to walk on eggshells because if I say something wrong you might just have a fit and fall in it. Can you explain why? I have tried to figure you out, over and over, God knows that I have done everything I can think of to please you, and yet you cannot be pleased. WTF is wrong with ME? You liked me the way I am. I am still me. Why do you seem to hate me now. You say you love me but it doesn't feel real. It feels like a script, like you have to draw it out of yourself. It seems to take so much effort to even get you to come to bed with me. When did you stop caring? I can't even remember the last time you said "make love to me". It seems that sex is always the first thing to go down the tubes and I should have known... I should have fucking seen it. 4 or 5 months ago... I should have fucking seen it. Maybe this really is all my fault. Maybe I changed and somehow now I'M the asshole that I have been frantically trying not to become. Maybe my worst fear has happened and it's time to flush the toilet cuz I can't take this shit anymore.