I must really be special. My whole department gets canned, except for me. I feel so alone! And, I don't know where the light switch is, so its dark in here. Boo

Things to ponder

Do you ever sit and ponder your own existence? Just for something to
think about. When you have a job like mine, you will give almost
anything for something new to think about. I've been mulling over
everything from the ionization of oxygen to photosynthesis to the
manufacturing of graham crackers... it really is strange to search for
things to think about. Sometimes I'm lucky enough for something to
just pop into my head, like mortality, but then again, whats worse to
think about than death? And what good timing to get my horrorscope...
and it says, "Stop waiting for something exciting, get out there and
make your own news!" WTH? Who comes up with this shit anyway? Really?
Make my own news? Holy crap! Someone is trying to get me to kill
myself! OMG there really IS a conspiracy! I always knew there was. It
started with turnips. Ever eaten one? It'll make you wish you hadn't!
Speaking of turnips, there are some brussel sprouts in the fridge at
home... the wife likes em... truly likes them... I guess I've never
eaten them because they sound and look nasty. I guess I'm gonna have
to try them because that's what I tell the kids... You have to try or
you will never know. So even though I don't want to... May the force
be with me.
On a more positive note, I must say (without trying to sound
conceited) I really am beginning to slim and look amazing! :) I'm not
quite sure why I ever let it go that far, but damn, that was dumb.
Although, I can say that I really enjoyed some delicious indulgences!
I will probably miss them terribly but my new body is worth it. Fk
that... I AM worth it! Ya know the other thing I've been thinking
about... Christmas. It's only a couple days away now and I feel like
there are things I should be doing. But I am done with my shopping,
the presents got wrapped and stowed away and Santa is a few pounds
lighter this year thanks to a contest at work. I'm in the process of
molding blocks with my Christmas present so I can make buildings for a
little village. The blocks are made of plaster which is turning out to
be really cool and they are very detailed. Some look like river rocks,
Some like roofing tiles and some like bricks. It's gonna be really
cool to see this whole thing come together. I am very excited! And the
fact that I have had this week off of school was a huge blessing
because I get to work on my buildings AND because I was able to
replace my brakes and rotors on the van, they were grinding really
bad!
Oh and just an FYI to all of my faithful readers. DudeThatSucks will
soon be retired and a new name will crop up... an improved design and
better layout with more personal graphics, designed by ME! The new
page may also include a bio, portfolio, video diary, sample works and
perhaps even a section for free taste tests. Not for your face, more
for you to sink your imaginations teeth into. A section where fallacy
becomes real and the impossible is poss... fk that, the impossible is
just that, fkn impossible! What the hell kinda twisted shit do you
think I run here? We'll just stick with the possible for now. :D
Sounds like fun tho huh?! YEA! If you happen to have any good ideas
for the new name of my site, it's still up in the air, please send me
your ideas at WebNames@dudethatsucks.com I'd really appreciate any
help you can provide! Thanks again! And until next time blog on!

Another four pounds gone and I noticed this morning that my other chin is slowly decreasing. Yup, good news! Now if I could get this damn weight off... Only 35 more pounds to lose. I hope it gets easier! Cuz this road is bullshit man! They all told me that I would feel better if I lose weight... And I do, sorta... Just not the way I expected to feel better, you know, more energy or stamina or lust for life... Nope, not here. Just looking better. Maybe the other symptoms will present after a few more pounds... Who knows? And till then fk it! I am feeling great about the way I look and thats enough to keep me going. At least for now. So another day spent lost in pondering.

So, it just occured to me that time can make things funny AND not funny. Let me explain... Somethings are funny when they happen, right? Yet other things are only funny days, months or years later... Dont you think thats wierd that time not only alters our perception of things but also changes the way they tickle us... Hmmm. Just a little food for thought.

Then I get my horrorscope, Taurus, Dec 16:
The answer isn't that obvious. So don't worry if you don't get it right away...

So, there I was minding my own, when it just popped into my head... Death. Like, 'I need to fill out a will and testament' kinda crap. WTH? Am I going under soon? Someone out to get me? How do you read into something like that? And this morning I was dreaming about my dads old car, and the farm tractor. I am not sure what all this means but it is doing a good job of making me feel finite and mortal!
And who does a guy have to bang to get some fkn cocoa up in this bitch? Fo sho, gonna need some cocoa!
I actually got some goods out of my illustrator class tho... Bout time too, cus that crap was getting frustrating! Its nice to know, when you're on your own that you can always lean on a program to lift your spirits. Well, if you are like me and really enjoy your computer. lol. Anyway, good luck to me with the will... I hope I get it done in time.

Amazed!

Ya know how sometimes you come across someone who is truly selfless
and inspiring, and you think to yourself, "I could be like that" or "I
would do the same thing in that situation".... Quit lying to yourself,
you aren't like that and you couldn't do what they do in that
situation. I know, it's tough to face the truth but if you can't even
be honest with yourself what the hell makes you think you could be as
selfless as they are? Stupid.
And how many times have you said to yourself or someone else "he (or
she) is the most amazing person I've ever met!" Seriously, how many
times? I can count the number of times I have on one hand... probably
even 2 fingers. And when you realize that the person you are looking
at, the very person sitting across the table from you, could very well
be the most amazing person you've ever met, it changes you. You become
a slightly better version of yourself, you change and are now one step
closer to being the best that you can be. No dumbass, I'm not talking
about joining the Army. Sheesh, keep up will ya! I'm talking about
humility and self actualization. I know it is a tough concept but just
try and stick with me for one more second. You really do change. It's
like going to a shelter and feeding the homeless, or eating your very
first Klondike Bar... It's just one of those experiences that every
person should have before they die. I'm not talking about watching the
starving people in Africa, or seeing someone on the news that got hit
by a car. I'm talking about real, absolute experiences that make you
step back and re-analyze your life.
We are all constantly changing. Personalities are not stagnate. They
morph and adapt to how our surroundings are today, right now. Even as
you read this your own personality may be changing. All we can hope
for is that the changes that happen are good changes, positive
attributes becoming more awesome and negative ones making the turn.
What is even more amazing is when that change hits you like you just
walked into a house that smells like cookies! And that is exactly how
it was for me.... I picked my jaw up off the floor and I knew
instantly that something in me had just changed, I felt different...
amazing... I was in awe. It was the second most amazing feeling ever!
I am still wrapping my mind around the whole experience!

Two things are guarantied to piss me off... Lie to me or omit the truth. You know what, fuck you! I know! How ya like that, huh? You piece of shit! You're not worth the toilet paper I wiped my ass with! Fucking loser!

Christians... Abort!! ABORT!!

What do I dislike about theism?…Let me count the ways…

But first, let me just say that I am in no way an atheist. I do, in fact, believe in God... Just not the ill-conceived religions thought up by greedy, bureaucratic, 'sinners'!

I dislike the hypocrisy, the corruption, the greed and the lies. I dislike the worship of ignorance, the glorification of idiocy, the wild-eyed hatred of progress and the fear of education, which send the faithful shrieking, vampire-like, from the light of knowledge. I dislike the way in which prejudice is passed off as holiness. The way superstition is peddled as wisdom. The way intolerance is raised to the lofty heights of "Truth". I dislike how hatred is taught as love, how fear is instilled as kindness, how slavery is pressed as freedom, and how contempt for life is dressed up and adored as spirituality. I dislike the shackles religions place on the mind, corrupting the believer until they are so trapped and lost in their own prison that they lose sight of the person that they were. So lost and self-loathing, so bereft of hope or pride, that they can look into the hallucinated face of their imaginary oppressor and feel unbounded love and gratitude for the additional suffering it has declined, as yet, to visit upon them. I dislike people's need for a communal delusion, like drug addicts who unite just to share the same needle. I dislike the way reason is abhorred as a vice and reality is decreed to be a matter of convenience. The way common sense and ordinary human decency get re-named "holy law" and advertised as the sole province of the faithful. I dislike religions' wholesale theft of any number of ancient mythologies, only to turn around and proclaim how "unique" their doctrine is. I dislike how intelligence is held as suspect and inquiry is reviled as a high crime. I dislike the pillaging of the impoverished, the extortion of the gullible, the manipulation of the ignorant and the domination of the weak. I dislike the invention of sins for the satisfaction of those who desire to punish. I dislike the demonization of unbelievers. The ill-concealed hate of those who try to convert you. The hysterical rants of holy rollers. The wigged-out warnings of psychic healers. The dismantling of public education via religious school vouchers. The erosion of civil rights by theocratic right-wingers. The righteous wrath of gun-toting true believers. The destruction wrought by holy warriors. The apocalyptic prophesies of un-medicated messiahs. Most of all, though, I dislike the certain knowledge that religion, in one grotesque form or other, will be with us so long as there is a single dark, cobwebbed corner of the human imagination that a believer can stuff a god into.