**Note: Update to WHALE BLOG**
I have spent the last month or so working on my Sorceress (Yoshina), she had passed the game in normal difficulty and was at a level 47 (of 99). Thru a fuckin stupid mistake on my part, and not backing up my characters, I fucked up and lost that character completely! OMG! I also had several items with her that are VERY difficult to get, as they drop extreamly scarcely. GRRR ARGH!!! So I spent all day yesterday (and I mean all day, minus a couple hours for cleaning) ramping up my new Sorceress (Brie). I got her clear to Act III (there are 5 total). So I was very excited!! AND... with the help of KingLeo, I now have some of those VERY rare/unique items with her too!
On a different note, I am very tired and lethargic today as I did not get to sleep until after 3:30 this morning, and of course, had to be to work at 7. Yup, I had 2 - 2:30 hours of sleep.... and yes, it was fun as hell to stay up! I needed it! I know, I know, as much as I need baseball bat up my ass (ouch). I have discovered though, that I love staying up late, even if it means that I get little or no sleep, and have to be to work 3 hours later.
Couple of things before I go.... just some old quips that I posted to my homepage...
The seven ages of man
20 is when you want to wake up romantic.
30 is when you want to wake up married.
40 is when you want to wake up successful.
50 is when you want to wake up rich.
60 is when you want to wake up contented.
70 is when you want to wake up healthy.
80 is when you want to wake up.
Believe
Believe in yourself, to the depth of your being
nourish your talents, your spirit is freeing.
Know in your heart, when the goin' gets slow
that your faith in yourself will continue to grow.
Don't forfeit ambition, when others may doubt
it's your life to live, so live it throughout.
Learn from your errors, don't dwell in the past
never withdraw, from a world that is vast.
Believe in yourself; find the best that is you
let your spirit prevail; steer a course that is true.
Failure
When he failed spectacularly, he laughed harder than anyone. But in front of children, he made sure that they realized that failure was just as important as success because you have to fail in order to realize it is not worth fearing. If you feared failure, you would never try difficult things and trying was more important than failure or success.
Without failure no one would ever realize when they succeed, by failing we are one step closer to the truth, and success; as long as you don't make the same mistake again.
MISC QUIPS
The more empathy you give the less you will need.
The fastest horse cannot catch a word spoken in anger.
Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, old time is still a flying
and the same flower that smiles today, tomorrow will be dying.
RULE #1-Don't sweat the small stuff!
RULE #2-It's all small stuff!!
Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work.
THE BEST MIRROR IS AN OLD FRIEND.
The last temptation is the greatest treason; to do the right deed for the right reason.
Don't be afraid to take a large step if one is indicated. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.
Pick battles big enough to win but small enough to matter.
The weirdest thing about life is that if you refuse to accept anything but the best you very often times get it.
WINNING ATTITUDES
To develop a winning attitude you must:
Become exited, confident, and enthusiastic about your goals.
Give yourself permission to be a winner.
Winners have the ability to look inside themselves and find that special dream.
The winner always has a goal.
The winner stresses solutions, not problems.
Winners have plans to reach their goals.
Winners make total commitments to their goals.
Winners have positive attitudes in all elements of their lives. The more you think about, talk about, and write about your goal happening, the greater the certainty is of that goal happening.
Winning is an inside job, not the score.
Self discipline is the winners creed.
MATURITY
1. Maturity is the ability to do a job whether you are supervised or not, finish the job once it is started, carry money without spending it, and be able to bear an injustice without wanting to get even.
2. Maturity is the ability to control anger and settle differences without violence.
3. Maturity is patience. It is the willingness to postpone immediate gratification in favor of long term gain.
4. Maturity is perserverence, the ability to sweat out a project or a situation in spite of heavy opposition and discouraging setbacks.
5. Maturity is the capacity to face unpleasantness and frustration, discomfort and defeat, without complaint or collapse.
6. Maturity is humility. It is being big enough to say, "I was wrong." And, when right, the mature person need not experience the satisfaction of saying, "I told you so!"
7. Maturity is the ability to make a decision and stand by it. The immature spend their time exploring endless possibilities: then they do nothing.
8. Maturity means dependability, keeping one's word, coming through in a crisis. The immature are masters of the alibi. They are confused and disorganized. Their lives are a maze of broken promises, former friends, unfinished business, and good intentions that somehow never materialize.
9. Maturity is the art of living in peace with that which we cannot change, the courage to change that which can be changed, and the wisdom to know the difference.
With that said, just one more question... Are you a winner?
blog ya later.... The General
Operation: Free Willy
I have decided that my divorce will now be code named "Free Willy" and yes, I am talking about the whale... Once Operation Free Willy has been executed, Operation Free My Willy will commence! And the fun will begin! I have also decided that ocean-life need to live in the wild... not contained by anyone or anything. When a whale is contained, it becomes huge! Huge beyond anything your eyes have seen! I have witnessed this first hand and know this to be true. Whales are inherantly lazy, cannot cut thier own food, get their own luxury items (ie the fuckin remote), or their own needed items (get your damn self a glass of water). What the fuck! Do I look like a fuckin' waiter or slave?! Get your own shit bitch!!
I've also discovered that I am nobodies lanky fuckin bitch! Bite me... If you think that i'm here to cater to your every whim, your not worth the time it would take to fuckin piss on you! Suck me off, and well, no, not even then will I be your fuckin go-fer!
WARNING: New Year Approaching
Can it be? That a new year is almost upon us? I thought 2003 would never come to a close, and now, here it is, already the 15th. Ode to the time flying by, like microsofts "flying windows" screensaver. I am excited for the new year! It will be one full of dating, experimenting, self discovery, and many, many drunken nights! I can't wait....
Divorce will be filed Jan 1! This is the best news I have had in over a year! The last time I got news this good was when that fuckin cunt moved out! That was Dec 3, 2002!! I cannot wait to be on with my life! A wonderful feeling indeed!
I remember this song... the first time I heard it, I was in a car headed for Alcohol Falls. It was late, I was tired. The year was 1992. The only reason I specifically remember this song was because it stood out to me. Still does!
- Watch Me - Lorrie Morgan
"... Don't tell me that it can't be done
That the world is colder without someone
Yeah, it might get lonely
It might get crazy
But this time baby, I'm as good as gone ...
... Yeah, if you think I won't go
Watch me
Oh Watch me proove you wrong today
You don't even know you lost me
You think I'd always stay
Oh, just watch me walk away
Oh, just watch me walk away"
This was the first time (that I recall) a song ever struck me... you know what i'm talking about... that cold sweat, heart pounding, jolt-you-out-of-bed-at-2 am type struck. It was an amazing feeling... and now, I love music because of that. It hit me like nothing ever before, or since for that matter. I don't think it was necessarily the song itself, as much as it was, the stage of my life and current position related to my family. There have been many times since then that, listening to a song, has sparked some emotion toward someone or something; however, never as strong as that song did that day. And mostly since then it has been toward a significant other or crush. Somethings never die... as is true with songs that remind you of something or someone. Yup, it's crazy insane, the way humans relate things to other things. (am I rambling?)
Anyway, In my quest for profoundness, I came across a saying... "take it easy, and if it's easy, take it twice" OMG!! Takin' life easy... easier said than done... More later...
So, in my process of thinking of things to blog about I came across empty handed. This got me thinking about things. Empty spirits, empty people, and mindnumbing games. Like games found at Addicting Games! Speaking of mind-numbing, I am in training and it is very boring. All that we discuss is, seemingly, useless information. I learned more from my first 5 minutes with an open computer case in front of me. Oh, and the tests we're taking, completely worthless, all the information is right in front of us. If we have the information in front of us, why the FUCK test us on it? It is asinine!
Through an email with an old friend I was told this, "you know... I don't think I have ever seen so much writing with so little to say.... It must be a talent you possess." I damn near died from laughter! And oh how true it is! I talk a lot with very little to say!
The Irony of Wants
I have decided to write today's blog about what I feel toward the irony of human nature with regards to each persons want list. We'll start with this thought: People want what they don't have until they get it. Once you have something you have wanted, the newness of said item wears off and you often no longer want it or use it. This being said, I feel that one should want what one has. For instance... I want a nice DVD player and surround system, HOT DAMN, I own one! I want a nice PC, HOT DAMN, I own one of those too. To quote a song, "it's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got." Could this really be more true. Think about the last thing you really wanted and got. Do you still like that item? Is it something that you use daily, or even weekly? I have so many of these items that I have made a little personal conviction. If I want something, I will wait 7 days. If, by the end of the seventh day, I still want said item enough to go buy it... I will do so.
I asked a friend what he thought about this theory. He was stupid, didn't have an opinion. I said, "everyone has an opinion, even if it's a stupid one!" to which he said, "I think everyone should get what they want." Yup, he confirmed it, He's stupid. What a moron. If everyone had everything they wanted, no one would work (except to relieve boredom), our economy would be in the toilet, and the world would cease to exist as we know it. Towns would be in disrepair and crumble, government would fail, our food supply would be severely degraded if not gone, we would have no place retreat, our lives would be in utter chaos and ruin. In our society it is necessary to have the American hierarchy, whereby those who work hard get rewarded with what they want. The harder you work the more you get (of course this is all theoretically speaking). It's the "American way" and sometimes, for those of us at the bottom of this hierarchy, we are left wanting that which we cannot have.
It's a process. All too true.
****By the way: I must say that watching people eat worms is very rewarding!***
I've missed so many days...
I can't believe it has been so long since I updated my blog. I'm slackin'. Between being sick and trying to get my website up and running, oh yeah, and playing games, I just haven't the time to blog.
I have made no new discoveries on the personal front. Have no interesting things to say on the dating front and nothing new happening with the divorce... so, I guess I'm doin a'ight.
In car related news, I am starting to hear a strange knocking sound in my engine. It may be the lifters, pistons, bad hearing. I'm not sure. I don't hear it everyday, just when I'm really listening to my car. Kinda bothersome.
I just can't think of enough to say to fill up more than two lines on any topic... I've had enough blogging for today.. I'm gonna go watch people eat worms.
Fear Factor
OMG!! Fear Factor is on tonight and it's the "Christmas" edition... gotta be good... can't wait.... must see fear factor..... must go home and watch... must see fear factor.... must....
Glad you got the point... I like fear factor!!
---Update 12-9-03--- That was arguably the best Fear Factor released in all 4 seasons... I loved it... Especially when the white dude got mad because he couldn't finish his dinner in the allotted 20 FREAKIN MINUTES!! It was awesome!
THEN... dun dun dun.... Average Joe... Arguably the best "reality" based show I've seen.... The season finale is on. A two hour special! Down to two guys.... It's just getting started though... She's a whore, he's a millionaire... What could be more wrong and twisted?!?!?! dun dun dun.
---Update 12-9-03--- That was the WORST episode of this show I've ever seen! It flat SUCKED! Melana is shallow and worthless. I wouldn't even grant her the glory of the General pissin' on her! Fuckin' superficial bitch anyway. Nuf said.
Sick Sick Sick
I have been sick all freakin weekend! It sucks, I haven't slept worth a shit (although I slept on and off all weekend), I have a terrible cough, headache, dizzy spells and times when I'm nausious. I fuckin hate being sick!
Well, now that it's out of the way. Do I really need to say that I've done absolutely nothing this whole weekend. Yup, it sucked.
Home on the Range
Sung to the tune of Home on the Range
O give me a clone of my own flesh and bone,
With its Y chromosome changed to X.
And when it is grown, then my own little clone
Will be of the opposite sex.
Chorus:
Clone, clone of my own,
With its Y chromosome changed to X
And when I'm alone with my own little clone
We'll both think of nothing but sex.
O give me a clone, hear my sorrowful moan,
Just a clone that is wholly my own.
And if it's an X of the feminine sex,
Oh what fun we will have when we're prone.
(Repeat Chorus)
My heart's not of stone, as I've frequently shown
When alone with my dear little X
And after we've dined, I am sure we will find
Better incest than Oedipus Rex.
(Repeat Chorus)
Why should such sex vex, or disturb or perplex.
Or induce a disparaging tone?
After all, don't you see, since we're both of us me.
When we're making love, I'm alone.
(Repeat Chorus)
And after I'm done, she will still have her fun,
For I'll clone myself twice ere I die.
And this time without fail, they'll be both of them male,
And they'll each ravish her by-and-by.
Understanding Categorization of Women
I stopped this morning to get a new tire, and the guy told me that I had 3 nails in my other tires... wtf! At least that is taken care of now and I have a new tire (even if it was expensive, like $60 something). My car is back and running though and that makes me happy.
Last night while I was spending time at a friends place, it got me thinking about how I categorize women. For me this is a primal instinctiveness that slots women into one of four groups.
First: Marriage Material - Defined as a woman fit for marriage. Women who fit into this category are just what the title indicates, women who, I feel, are fit to marry. This includes, but not limited to, the friendly, less talkative type that likes people and gets along well with others. She has to be slender. Hair color, eye color, ect does not matter. She is one who will go out of her way to appease people and likes to do so. Also one who will stand her ground when she feels that something wrongful has been done.
Second: Friendship Material - Defined as a woman not suited for marriage yet capable of maintaining friendship status. This type of person must be kind and considerate. Looks in this category are not as important as the aforementioned item. Weight, age, height, race, ect makes no definitive difference. These are women that I would willingly be around and can converse with easily. The only people excluded from this category are those that are stuck up, snotty, or just plain nasty and gross.
Third: Lust Material - Defined as a woman that I do not want to be "friends" with. This type of woman is very attractive, very slender, and usually (not always) is vertically challenged. Hair color is not important but has to be long. This type of woman maintains herself and is very attractive to most men with eyes (or even one).
Fourth: Those not fitting into any other category. These women are usually very nasty type people, the grotesquely obese. These are women that I would not even approach because of the extreme nastiness. EW! Need I say more?
Holy Flat Tire Batman!
Woke up on time, took Jordan to daycare (he stayed the night, it was awesome) anyway, noticed my tire was a little low, so I went to the gas station to fill it up. The pump just made the tire lose more air! On the way out of the parking lot the sidewall blew out! Needless to say, I put the spare on and got to work. I am now dirty from changing the tire. My white pants have tire marks on them, despite being as careful as possible. My leather jacket is scuffed and dirty. The only good thing that comes of this whole fiasco is this; I am wide awake now.
Well, I guess I know what I'll be doing after work... stopping to get a new tire. DAMN IT!
So Here is another kewl pic of boise. 
I am headed to Boise (tonight) to drop off a computer I built for a friend. I love being in Boise, except the traffic. It has a great night life, and there is always something to do. I have not seen my friends from Boise for many months and it will be good to be in thier company again. The building featured to the left, yeah, the big tall brick one. I used to work in that building when I was in boise. I was working for an electrostatic painting company and we did work in there. It was awesome. Especially being the tallest building I have ever been in, and the tallest building in Idaho. 
Wow, two awesome quotes in two awesome days... how good is that? this is one that I found while browsing 
Author: Unknown
Before I get into todays blog, I must say that having a job is really cutting into my sitting around time, and not very conducive to gaming. With that said, out of the jobs I've had I am very glad that I have this job. It is easy, and I get to blog. I need an epiphany. This may help me quit smoking, or give me the ambition to give a shit and work out, or maybe just that I need to get off my lazy ass and find something productive that I enjoy. That's all I'm sayin. 
This is just a nice lookin clock to illustrate how time flies. I saw this at 
Almost Thanksgiving... yeah. I don't quite know why I titled it that, but whatever. Actually, it is an okay day. Nothing severely wrong... yet. I got up a smijin late, just late enough that I did not have time for breakfast. Oh well, nothing new... 
First up on the list is 
Next up on my "bandwagon" is the ever 
Third up, the 1900's 
Wow, what a day. Got up late, didn't get my son to school till 1:15. Played a little this morning. It was great. Work is going very slow (as if I expected different) and I'm suppose to have an analysis today regarding my calls. We'll see how that goes. So, my current analysis is this: Monday, just like everyday, is different that the day before. I get a little older, sometimes even a little wiser. It was so nice to have my son for the second weekend in a row. He is an awesome kid. Five years old, smart as all sorts of beat hell, and loves me (does it get any better than that). I was sad when he had to go back cause I know that I will not see him for a while now and that sucks. Hopefully the time will pass quickly and he'll be back with me. Man, I just get the feeling that I never see him enough. I'll probably take that feeling to the grave with me. I love my children. Don't agree with the way my ex raises them, but I love them dearly.
Save me from the inevitable truths of life
How dare you say that my behavior is unacceptable
What you are doing screwing things up inside my head
Does it thrill
I think I have done nothing but dink off today. It (although very calm) has been a good day. I spend most of today emailing this other girl (we'll call her Anne{fake name}). Anne cracks me up, she is too funny. I would swear she is a natural blonde, except that she is a brunette. Oh way too funny though. So we talked about anything and nothing. Isn't that the best type of conversation? When anything comes up and turns into something funny. I must have laughed for an hour straight at one point. It was a welcome spice to a calm day.
Well, I think officially, I am calling it quits with this gal, I think she is way to preoccupied. Maybe a friendship is in order. I really don't want it that way. I don't think she is ready for a relationship, that bothers me too. We had lunch today, she was a little distant and not very talkative. She smiled a couple of times and was laughing with me (I love her smile and her laugh is to die for). We talked about networking her computers at home and never really discussed anything of value. It was nice, she would be a much better chat buddy than girlfriend. She would be a great friend and maybe someday it will grow to something larger than that. For now I will pursue other avenues. I crinch at even the thought of it. What am I doing? I am pushing away something I want worse than anything, because she is not ready. Should I wait till maybe she is? I am just a little confused, like a baby in a topless bar. Oh to do, to do....
K- so I just talked to another co-worker of mine and she suggested this: write an email apologizing for being a little pushy about lunch yesterday, then DON"T send it but rather call her and apologize in person. The email is just practice to get out what I really want to say, so here goes...
Dear XOXOXO,
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)