Okay, lots of drama... Here goes. I asked her over to my place for dinner (I cooked T-bones and baked taters) she respectfully declined stating she had to have her hair done (some highlights or dying or something). Her mother was suppose to do it Sunday night. Her sister apparently ended up doing it. K- sounds legit enough. The next thing that happened was today when I asked to take her to lunch after her scheduled shift at work. I was just gonna take my lunch and go to Arab's with her. She has another legit reason that follows: she needed to fill out some paperwork for state approval for Medicaid or CHIP or something. Although I do not believe there is a deadline for this to be done, she seemed to want to go there really bad. The state office closes at 5 pm, we would have had lunch from 3:30 to about 4:00, was it that she did not have enough time or was it that she didn't want to go with me to lunch?
Summary: This is twice she has declined to be with me. Now, here's where the drama comes in... Do I take a hint from this and quit pursuing her or is it a valid reason and I continue to pursue? Both "excuses" (for lack of a better word) could be valid or could be fabricated... What the hell is a guy to do? Are these mind games or cogent responses.
Beyond that, two things... First, she has stated that she would like to spend more time together. Second, I am entering her life and she is very busy (especially with a one year old to take care of). I completely understand the busy schedule of a single mother. Likewise I also understand that she cannot and will not drop everything to spend time with me. At this point in her life there are so many things more important to her survival than dating.
Side note: she also told me in two separate conversations that she was never married to her babies father and that she had been married before and is now divorced. Thought provoking.
So, my main issues are: does she or does she not want to spend time together? And, do I or do I not continue to pursue a relationship? DRAMA!!!
As you can probably tell, if you've read my entire blog, I am not a person to "date" many people at once. I prefer to take things really slowly with one person and, pending the outcome, not move on until said relationship ends. I am huge on trust and friendship and believe that there is no better way to start a lasting relationship. I would love, more than anything, to be in a steady relationship, no games, making a life for myself and my love. I earnestly believe that she could be the woman, albeit to early to really tell.
I just wish things were a little more clear. I wish I could send her this letter:
Dear XOXOXO,
I feel like we are "playing games", If you really do not wish to be around me please say so, so we can both get on with our lives. If there are no games, and you would like to make a shot at this relationship please let me know when you would like to get together, you know my schedule. I would love to give our relationship the best start possible. If playing games is on the agenda please count me out.
With the utmost respect and love,
XOXOXO
Just sounds too harsh and too early.
One reply from a friend is as follows:
"many a time I have been in that very situation rather recently I might add. I wish I could give you a definitive answer about this but there isn't. As many thing in life you have to shoot from the hip. Now this is going to be totally hypocritical but you are being a little self-conscious and self doubting and women don't find that exactly attractive.
I do understand exactly how you feel because I have been there my advice to you would be first off don't you dare send her that letter and secondly its not how you spend your time apart but how you spend it together. I know I am not telling you anything you already don't know but reinforcement of ones ideals is important in life
peace"
Thank you for that, my almighty friend. I understand what your saying and will do my best at being a little less self-conscience. My only fear is getting 2 months or 2 years into this relationship only to find out, she doesn't want me and I could have ended it now after only a few days. But, there I go again, being very premature in my assumptions.
Summary: This is twice she has declined to be with me. Now, here's where the drama comes in... Do I take a hint from this and quit pursuing her or is it a valid reason and I continue to pursue? Both "excuses" (for lack of a better word) could be valid or could be fabricated... What the hell is a guy to do? Are these mind games or cogent responses.
Beyond that, two things... First, she has stated that she would like to spend more time together. Second, I am entering her life and she is very busy (especially with a one year old to take care of). I completely understand the busy schedule of a single mother. Likewise I also understand that she cannot and will not drop everything to spend time with me. At this point in her life there are so many things more important to her survival than dating.
Side note: she also told me in two separate conversations that she was never married to her babies father and that she had been married before and is now divorced. Thought provoking.
So, my main issues are: does she or does she not want to spend time together? And, do I or do I not continue to pursue a relationship? DRAMA!!!
As you can probably tell, if you've read my entire blog, I am not a person to "date" many people at once. I prefer to take things really slowly with one person and, pending the outcome, not move on until said relationship ends. I am huge on trust and friendship and believe that there is no better way to start a lasting relationship. I would love, more than anything, to be in a steady relationship, no games, making a life for myself and my love. I earnestly believe that she could be the woman, albeit to early to really tell.
I just wish things were a little more clear. I wish I could send her this letter:
Dear XOXOXO,
I feel like we are "playing games", If you really do not wish to be around me please say so, so we can both get on with our lives. If there are no games, and you would like to make a shot at this relationship please let me know when you would like to get together, you know my schedule. I would love to give our relationship the best start possible. If playing games is on the agenda please count me out.
With the utmost respect and love,
XOXOXO
Just sounds too harsh and too early.
One reply from a friend is as follows:
"many a time I have been in that very situation rather recently I might add. I wish I could give you a definitive answer about this but there isn't. As many thing in life you have to shoot from the hip. Now this is going to be totally hypocritical but you are being a little self-conscious and self doubting and women don't find that exactly attractive.
I do understand exactly how you feel because I have been there my advice to you would be first off don't you dare send her that letter and secondly its not how you spend your time apart but how you spend it together. I know I am not telling you anything you already don't know but reinforcement of ones ideals is important in life
peace"
Thank you for that, my almighty friend. I understand what your saying and will do my best at being a little less self-conscience. My only fear is getting 2 months or 2 years into this relationship only to find out, she doesn't want me and I could have ended it now after only a few days. But, there I go again, being very premature in my assumptions.
No comments:
Post a Comment