Help Me, PLEASE!

I have yet to speak to any nay-sayers regarding my relocation. As some of you know I have recently been confronted with a seemingly difficult decision. Whether or not I move 300 miles away from my children, in hopes of a brighter future, better job opportunities and endless Mountain Dew. Life brings such difficulty forth when you are caught in a struggle between doing what is right and doing what is right for you. I (brief pause for dramatic affect), wonder if this is what I am meant to do. Is it possible that there is a higher power controlling things? How does one believe in fate when the series of events that have transpired leave you wanting? I must admit that I have never been left needing, at least not for long. Life seems to provide for those who persevere and struggle on. What has life got in store for me? The comment from last night on my blog has given me new things to think about... I am really liking this beautiful talented young lady, and yet in the midst of all the chaos, turmoil, unsteadiness and longing, she provides for me the intestinal fortitude that is required to muster a smile. She pulls laughs from the pit of my gut, and lifts me up. So the question remains, do I uproot my red oak in search for better soil. Should I cut the existing roots, for the chance to grow new ones, better ones, stronger ones? The likelihood of regretting the relocation is slim. Larger is the margin of regret for the stagnation that I have grown to love. I will also admit that I am scared. Scared of what may happen, scared of what I would be leaving behind. Is it really human nature to leave your roots when they have become so firmly planted in the soil of your home? Is it human nature? I should do this because it will provide a better future for my children, better job opportunities for me, means better conditions for my children. It also means a happier, healthier life for me, which in turn, means I would be happier around my children, thereby giving them more happiness as well.

Here is my concern. It is human nature to want that which you do not or can not have. Will this leave me searching for something I may never get anyway? Will it be completely fruitless. Will I learn to call that place home? I tried already once and due to a large foreseen circumstance, ended up in the very spot I was running from. That shan't happen again. How does one do that? Move from one location to somewhere 300 miles away. I am a very close knit type of person. My friends and family are very important to me, it just so happens that I have both friends and family at both locations.

What am I doing? It seems the more I talk about this it sounds like I'm trying to talk myself out of it. NO! I want to go, I am trying to see if this is the best decision for me and all who are concerned. If I move, there are many things to take care of before said event takes place. I have about 4 weeks. Within that month I must conclude my indecisiveness and either pack. Believe me when I say that last sentence was left like that on purpose. I do not solidify my findings until I have at least two more weeks to be indecisive.