How does one create interest when none exists. Monotony is a problem that I fight daily. It makes me want to scream and cry. I need spice. I used to have that, maybe that was the reason I was married for as long as I was. Being married to her, broke the monotony of the day. Granted, it was a bad change for a standard day, but it was change. In analyzing my marriage, I am continuously faced with different ideas and ways of looking at things. I read in a book that you can determine the submissive and dominant roles in a relationship by studying the sexual patterns of the couple. If that is the case, I can definitely see how I played in as a passive role in our entire marriage. A role that will not be repeated. The book also states that you should identify what behaviors led to those roles and avoid them. In exchange, use a more neutral more equal role and discuss decisions that effect the both of you. That is the ideal way it should be from what I understand. How plausible is it to have a relationship that is completely equitable tho. Is it? I have no answer for that, but I can say that it would be possible and depending on how the two people work together it may in fact be very plausible. Will it happen? Good question.
I wish I had a fly on the wall my entire 5 years of marriage to tell me all the little things that I did wrong. I want to fix them all. I want to become a better person and I think the best way to start that is to start with the things I have done wrong... In order to know those things, I have to think about them. No one seems to be able to tell me, or they don't want to. I think of myself as a person that is (for the most part) easy to talk to. I don't think of it as confrontational if someone comes up to me and points out a fault in my character. It would actually be very helpful. People sometimes tell me I am an asshole, but never give me specifics. It's hard to work on something when it is true for a certain circumstance and not for another. Let me know what you think, K!
I would also like to take a moment to bring up a more serious topic. For those of you that are strongly opposed to confrontation, please ignore or don't read what is about to be said. With that, I will continue. In an effort to better myself, I have come to a point where I cannot analyze my own thought patters and behaviors any longer, so I would like everyone who reads this to (even anonymously) send me an email with what flaws you see in my moral fiber or character. I may not change them immediately or ever, but I would like to know how I am viewed by others, and more importantly, what flaws you can point out. No one is perfect, so I expect to hear from everyone! There is a link to email me at the bottom of each post, emails can be completely anonymous. For my sanity, please send one.
The Jizr appreciates your time and efforts in helping me become more successful!
Onto better things... Things don't have to be extraordinary to be beautiful. The ordinary could be just as beautiful.
It's a Thursday night, it's snowing and very cold. There is no reason to be outdoors tonight but there they stand, wrapped around each other like vines crawling toward the sun. Today is different than most. She got first place in her competition and they are celebrating at her favorite outdoor cafe. They wait in line for their order. It seems like hours. Her head is burried deep in his chest, his arms are wrapped tightly around her in an effort to keep out the cold. His feeble attempt warms her heart but not her skin. She casts a glance up at him. Feeling her body shift he looks down to her. She cracks a grin, as if to say, "I love you." He leans over and gently kisses her. Her lips are very cold, as are his. The order is done, they wrap like tinfoil around their drinks. The move on, continuing the embrace even as they walk thru the cold. She steps on his feet and they both laugh about her clumsiness that has become a joke between them. You can tell that she feels safe, wrapped around him.
To them, the cold does not exist, love keeps them warm. Even as they begin to get wet from the snow in their boots, their hearts are on fire. Love is a very powerful thing. It moves the unmovable, breaks the unbreakable, and heals even the worst of wounds. Love seems to be addicting, those who have it, want more. Those who don't have it, will do anything to get it. Sounds to me like it should be illegal. ;)
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