I am reading a book called Crazy Time. It is helping me figure even more things out and helping me to identify who I am and what I'm doing. I want to quote a line from this book that I think is just freakin funny...
"This is Crazy Time. It starts when you separate and usually lasts about two years. It's a time when your emotions take on a life of their own and you swing back and forth between wild euphoria and violent anger, ambivalence and deep depression, extreme timidity and rash actions. You are not yourself. Who are you? At times you don't want to know. You think about going on a sex binge and fucking anything that moves. Or you lie very still in bed, your muscles tense, your breathing shallow, your imaginings as dark and lonely as the night."
It goes on to say...
"Then at the height of Crazy Time, you may get a reprieve. You fall in love -- a coup de foudre -- and the block of lead in your chest miraculously melts; you can't believe it, you laugh, you dance. You know it's too soon, too much like jumping into a lifeboat that you knoow leaks and has no oars. But you smile, feeling so good after feeling so bad for so long. Therapists call this the searce for the romantic solution. But it's usually not a solution. You crash. Puff, the magic dragon of love, is gone. Now you're really scared."
I reached that point and prefer not to go back. It sucks. Moving on...
"There seems to be no end to this wild swinging back and forth. You can't believe how bad your life is, how terrible you feel, how overwhelming daily tasks become, how frightened you are: about money, your health, your sanity. You can't believe that life is worse now than when you broke up. You thought you were at the end of your rope then."
I like to think that I am, at least, nearing the end of my crazy time. I am learning alot about myself. Thoughts and feelings that I have suppressed for a very long time. It is a very freeing feeling. As I take these steps forward, I keep one eye on my past to ensure that I do not make the same mistakes again.
"This is Crazy Time. It starts when you separate and usually lasts about two years. It's a time when your emotions take on a life of their own and you swing back and forth between wild euphoria and violent anger, ambivalence and deep depression, extreme timidity and rash actions. You are not yourself. Who are you? At times you don't want to know. You think about going on a sex binge and fucking anything that moves. Or you lie very still in bed, your muscles tense, your breathing shallow, your imaginings as dark and lonely as the night."
It goes on to say...
"Then at the height of Crazy Time, you may get a reprieve. You fall in love -- a coup de foudre -- and the block of lead in your chest miraculously melts; you can't believe it, you laugh, you dance. You know it's too soon, too much like jumping into a lifeboat that you knoow leaks and has no oars. But you smile, feeling so good after feeling so bad for so long. Therapists call this the searce for the romantic solution. But it's usually not a solution. You crash. Puff, the magic dragon of love, is gone. Now you're really scared."
I reached that point and prefer not to go back. It sucks. Moving on...
"There seems to be no end to this wild swinging back and forth. You can't believe how bad your life is, how terrible you feel, how overwhelming daily tasks become, how frightened you are: about money, your health, your sanity. You can't believe that life is worse now than when you broke up. You thought you were at the end of your rope then."
I like to think that I am, at least, nearing the end of my crazy time. I am learning alot about myself. Thoughts and feelings that I have suppressed for a very long time. It is a very freeing feeling. As I take these steps forward, I keep one eye on my past to ensure that I do not make the same mistakes again.
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